formariz 11,987 #1 Posted November 22, 2020 I been fortunate all my life to have a wife who despite having a full time career , always cooked and did the household chores for all of us everyday. Sadly for her though, her condition is deteriorating faster than anticipated or expected specially now being a bit restricted with her freedom of travel. Although I am always here to help her with all I can, it is time that I learn the cooking part of it so I can not only help her with it now but more importantly being able to do it when she no longer can. It was met with some resistance, and it was a sensitive thing to bring up since losing her independence is worse than anything else she is going through. We however came to the agreement that is is time to do it, so everyday I am now an apprentice cook for dinner with her guiding my every step, and actually being very patient and good about it. At first I could see her hiding a few tears as we started but now she seems to actually be enjoying the process. I actually am enjoying learning this new skill despite the reason I am doing it. Hopefully we can just do it together for many years to come. 2 1 16 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DennisThornton 4,769 #2 Posted November 22, 2020 When I first married, my wife and I were both attending full time higher education so my parents offered us to stay with them through our education. Both my mother and her mother were there at that time so I told my loving wife that she had access to the two best cooks in the world and perhaps she could rub elbows. So she did! But alas nothing rubbed off. We later separated for lots of reasons besides decent meals... One of my sons recently commented that she still hadn't learned how to cook, 40 years later! No matter how great the soil you just can't grow anything if the seed won't sprout! My youngest son always enjoyed cooking with me and is now the executive chef in the largest local restaurant. So there is hope where there is interest! From your obvious interest and from what I've seen of your posts you will do well indeed! If there's anything I can help with you are always welcome to reach out. I did rub elbows with both my Mother and Grandmother! Some of it DID rub off! Today there is SO much online and SO far beyond anything I was exposed to in my younger years! 6 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Kennell 38,025 #3 Posted November 22, 2020 Just seeing some of the woodwork you have created, It is clear you have the patients and ability to master this new cooking skill and become a patient loving caretaker. Best Wishes my friend. 6 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SylvanLakeWH 25,493 #4 Posted November 23, 2020 That is fantastic! One question: Do you know a guy who can sharpen your kitchen knives? 2 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
953 nut 55,092 #5 Posted November 23, 2020 1 hour ago, formariz said: Hopefully we can just do it together for many years to come. That has been our experience over the past half dozen years. We have taken turns being caregivers, fortunately one of us has been healthy enough to look after the other at any given time. My father in law was a chef and our son is a chef, cooking ability seems to skip a generation on my wife's side of the family. However, she does have some great take-out phone numbers on speed dial. 1 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ebinmaine 67,292 #6 Posted November 23, 2020 12 minutes ago, 953 nut said: some great take-out phone numbers on speed dial That's what would save my little sweetheart from my cooking. Trina does literally 99.9999% of the cooking in our house not counting my boiled cowboy coffee. That is really the only thing I contribute that's been heated. She does all the cooking. I do all the cleanup. It's a very good symbiotic coupleship. @formariz you'll do just fine. I wish you and yours the best. 4 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CCW 1,292 #7 Posted November 23, 2020 For years my wife did most of the cooking. About ten years ago, as an advisor for a youth group, I was asked to cook for one of our mission trips. Being willing to take on any of the needed jobs for the group agreed and spent the week cooking for 35 teenagers. Upon return from the trip my wife said if I could cook for 35 I could cook for two. Have been doing 90% of the since then. She loves having a man who can cook and some of her friends are jealous since their husbands hardly know which knob turns on the burners. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CCW 1,292 #8 Posted November 23, 2020 I should have added to my previous comment that it is great the two of you can work together to solve this dilemma. 3 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handy Don 12,163 #9 Posted November 23, 2020 The combination that has worked well for us was that as the children (now grown and gone) reached age 12 they became responsible for planning and preparing one meal a week. Over time they got more ambitious and creative and all now do a lot of the cooking in their marriages. Since they've left home, I've become the grocery shopper and the prep chef (you know, the person on the cooking shows who prepares all the ingredients and puts them in nifty little bowls or lays them out on a board?)--my spouse has the plan and does the assembly. Like @ebinmaine, I'm also the cleanup person and the teamwork is quite successful. My motto for years has been "Any meal that someone else prepares is a great meal!" 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
formariz 11,987 #10 Posted November 23, 2020 Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement. They are truly appreciated and it feels good to just express one's thoughts to people who understand ones situation. Learning something new is always a good thing even if the circumstances around it are such as ours. Hopefully we can do it together for quite a while so she does not feel that her world is slipping away from her even faster. 6 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mickwhitt 4,593 #11 Posted November 23, 2020 Good on you Caz, I do all our cooking so I know its pretty easy as long as you plan things a little. I do the shopping too so I know ill have the ingredients I need. Its just a case if you taking some of the load from her, not taking over. Sounds like she is accepting of your kindness too, despite it feeling a little strange fir her. All our best wishes to you both my friend. Xx 1 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pullstart 62,799 #12 Posted November 23, 2020 It’s not always bad being the cooker man! Sometimes I even get to run the hammer! Mommy is working a bit late tonight, so some steaks and a glass of red wine for her will be a good surprise! 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mickwhitt 4,593 #13 Posted November 24, 2020 That steak doesn't stand a chance! 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pullstart 62,799 #14 Posted November 25, 2020 On 11/24/2020 at 4:11 AM, Mickwhitt said: That steak doesn't stand a chance! It sure didn’t! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites