JimD 3,345 #51 Posted September 9, 2011 Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "asteroids?" because if they were called asteroids you might have klingons orbiting uranus Brian We could send in a strike force to wipe them out. :banghead: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Coadster32 793 #52 Posted September 9, 2011 We could send in a strike force to wipe them out. Do you really want to send anything in?? :thumbs2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevasaurus 22,771 #54 Posted September 9, 2011 So...is one in the hand really worth two in the bush??? :thumbs2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JimD 3,345 #55 Posted September 9, 2011 We could send in a strike force to wipe them out. Do you really want to send anything in?? Well, you ARE dressed for it. :banghead: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JimD 3,345 #56 Posted September 9, 2011 Did you ever notice that if you're not the lead Horse, the view doesn't change much? :thumbs2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikesRJ 552 #57 Posted September 9, 2011 "People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day." - Whinnie The Pooh "Total abstinence is so excellent a thing that it cannot be carried to too great an extent. In my passion for it I even carry it so far as to totally abstain from total abstinence itself." - Mark Twain "There isn't time--so brief is life--for bickerings, apologies, heartburnings, callings to account. There is only time for loving--& but an instant, so to speak, for that." - Mark Twain The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. - Unknown If your wife wants to learn to drive, don't stand in her way. - Unknown Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevasaurus 22,771 #58 Posted September 9, 2011 "In the beginning, there was nothing. Then God said, "Let there be light". And there was still nothing but you could see it." :thumbs2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikesRJ 552 #59 Posted September 9, 2011 The fridge light DOES go out. Now let me out of here!!!! OK, all those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JimD 3,345 #60 Posted September 9, 2011 When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
stevasaurus 22,771 #61 Posted September 9, 2011 After twelve years of therapy my psychiatrist said something that brought tears to my eyes. He said, "No hablo ingles." :thumbs2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MikesRJ 552 #62 Posted September 9, 2011 People used to explore the dimensions of reality by taking LSD to make the world look weird. Now the world is weird and they take Prozac to make it look normal. - Bangstrom Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anglo Traction 761 #63 Posted September 9, 2011 Is there a word that rimes with orange? Yep! I'ts Gorange and it means to 'Gross Out' or 'Binge' on something. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
puddlejumper 67 #64 Posted September 9, 2011 If a frog had wings would it still bump its butt when it jumped? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster 191 #65 Posted September 10, 2011 If a frog had wings would it still bump its butt when it jumped? Yes...but not so much when it flew.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
KC9KAS 4,741 #66 Posted September 10, 2011 "If a man speaks and his wife isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rockbuilt 7 #67 Posted September 10, 2011 why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic? I am not this smart but my son is an english major and a writer so here is the answer I received when I sent him the question to ponder. first you must seperate the word. mono is a prefix that comes from that latin word mono which means one. now the main word used is syllable. the word syllable was first used by the poet Chauncer in the 1300s. the word syllable comes from the latin word sylaba which means "to take or put together". the conotation being that language is made up of the putting togther of multiple linguistic sounds. so when you say a word with two syllables, you are doing so by putting togther two linguistic sounds to make one word. so with that knowledge, you can understant why we use the word syllable, and even though monosyllablic is made of five syllables (or five linguistic sounds) it is because the word was created from a word that originally had nothing to do with language. it was just a way for Chauncer to describe the putting together of sounds to make a language. i hope this helps answer your question. hahahaha don't your kids make you feel dumb? :thumbs2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
neil 2,410 #68 Posted September 10, 2011 Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nylyon-(Admin) 7,294 #69 Posted September 12, 2011 If the plural of Mouse is Mice, what is the Plural of House? Hice? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
64s 83 #70 Posted September 12, 2011 Three guys go into a hotel to rent a room. The desk clerk says its $30 and all three guys put in $10 a piece. The bell hop brings up the bags and the guys say thanks but don't give him a tip. As the bell hop arrives back down in the lobby, the desk clerk calls him over and says he made a mistake on the price of the room. The actual price should have been $25 and he hands the bell hop 5 ones and tells him to bring it up to the three guys. The bell hop is still mad for not being given a tip, so he pockets $2 and gives the guys the $3. The guys are happy because now the room only costs $9 each. Now here's the question. If each guy put in $9 - $27 total (3 times 9), and the bell hop stole $2, thats $29 (27 plus 2). What happened to the other dollar?? (they all originally put in $10 a piece (10 times 3 equals 30). And no the government didn't steal it (yet). :thumbs2: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rmaynard 15,535 #71 Posted September 12, 2011 Now here's the question. If each guy put in $9 - $27 total (3 times 9), and the bell hop stole $2, thats $29 (27 plus 2). What happened to the other dollar?? (they all originally put in $10 a piece (10 times 3 equals 30). There is no missing dollar. The men spent $27, of which $25 went on the room and $2 went to the bell boy. You can not add the $2 the bellboy has to the $27 the men spent as this $2 actually comes out of the $27 the men spent, the other $25 going on the room. Here's how the $30 breaks down: $25 - room $3 (3x $1) back to the men $2 Bellboy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
COMMANDO1 23 #73 Posted September 12, 2011 A FROG FALLS INTO A 30 FT DEEP HOLE, HE JUMPS 3 FT EVERY NIGHT, BUT FALLS 2 FT EVERY DAY, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE HIM TO CLEAR THE HOLE? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nylyon-(Admin) 7,294 #74 Posted September 12, 2011 What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
buckrancher 2,679 #75 Posted September 12, 2011 What's the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow? english or african? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites