At what point do you change?

[JoeM 7,873]

Over in the "Pete found his shop floor thread", Ed talks about his school days oiling the floors and staying warm with the coal burner. Made me think a bit of things when I was a kid and my aging.

When I got into my 50's, the way I thought started to change. 

When I got into my 60's, the way I thought started to resemble the old man. Or and older man. 

 

"The Look"

A couple weeks ago one of the grand-kids was here and kind of giving the wife a hard time in the kitchen. I was in the office adjoining the dinning room and leaned over in the doorway and gave the kid "the look".

Oh my, I remember that look from when i was a kid. It was my fathers silent WTF. The old man would twist his neck and look up but his eyes never left you, like a gangster. (You did not want a second one) 

 

"My Collection"

The old man had a deal where he was the vast collector of used nails. Had coffee cans filled with rusty, but straightened, salvaged nails. Not just a few maybe a dozen. My son was 4 at the time and I was at my Dad's garage working on my truck. Well the boy was being a PIA so I got a hammer, 6x6 and a can of nails and left him go to town. That wood looked like a porcupine. I remember the old man coming into view, it looked like a skit from Fred Sanford, I thought we were going to use a defibrillator on him. His cherished nails drove into that block of wood.

I don't have a collection of used nails, but I got nuts and bolts. Cans by size, lined up like soldiers on the back of the bench. 

 

Have you noticed any changes in yourself?

[ri702bill 8,314]

Yup. I used to fly off the handle at anything anyone would do or say that irked me. Being a parent and a Landlord tends to do that.

Now, as i approach 70, I tend to listen just a tad longer, then let 'em have it!!

 

I don't want to be remembered as "That cranky old guy with too many rules"  - some folks that I dealt with early on WILL see me that way forever - tough.

There is still time to become "That old guy with not so many rules"........

Edited February 7 by ri702bill

[Pullstart 62,834]

RIP Toby Keith

 

 

[WHX?? 48,814]

Um ahhh .... wrong thread Kev...

[JoeM 7,873]

4 minutes ago, WHX?? said:

Um ahhh .... wrong thread Kev

Kind of covers both.

[wallfish 16,994]

HA, I became the old man that as a teenager I said I would never become.

Never thought I'd make it to be 50 anyway so it's just playing with "house money" from now on.

At 25 it was a dream to be able to live forever and be immortal. Now, 10-15 more years would be plenty and possibly even too much.

It's my assessment people change over time and it's a gradual change. 10 years of life and those experiences certainly provide different views on things. For example we don't think or reason the same at 25 as we did at 15. Or the same at 35 as when 25, Or the same at 45 as when 35 and so it goes on and on.

[953 nut 55,175]

Following my stroke my wife had to assume the duties I had always done in addition to her regular tasks. At first I was very frustrated by the fact that some things weren't being done the right way (read that as being done MY WAY). Within a few weeks I began to mellow and have adopted the belief that most of the things we do differently aren't so important after all. Showing mutual respect and loving each other is all that matters. I am now able to do most of the tasks my wife took over but I do some of them her way because I never understood how MY WAY bugged her so much. I never balanced the check book to the penny, I always rounded up or down when entering payments (drove her crazy) and I would always sort the recycles as they were taken to the garage, now we just hold of until the day we make a run to the drop-off center, no big deal. I have become a bit more mellow and appreciative of what I have left rather than becoming frustrated with the loss of what I had. I didn't realize how I had become "that old man", glad to say he is gone.

[peter lena 8,608]

@JoeM  when I first  got the change of age , added , thin foam mats to floor work / also  roller  dolly's, had always  just gone  to the floor  like at work , today its also cutting back on much of what I used to do . my wife and I  also , turn it around on the grandkids , on issues ,  WHAT WOULD YOU DO ?  talk about it , break it down , support / realize the situation , no sarcasm , insults , just a back and forth for the answer. we do that very often , the kids like that way of problem solving . they also like making the food recipes , that grandma gives them ,  keep changing with your life , every day is different , pete  

Edited February 7 by peter lena

[ri702bill 8,314]

And yet, there ARE times that someone else needs to get told off with a lecture. Others need to appreciate YOUR years of common sense experience when it is offered.

The lectures are not as frequent anymore. It's all about "tactfullness". Being truly tactfull means you have the ability to tell someone to go to He11 in such a way that they actually look forward to the trip !!  

[JoeM 7,873]

20 minutes ago, wallfish said:

For example we don't think or reason the same at 25 as we did at 15. Or the same at 35 as when 25, Or the same at 45 as when 35 and so it goes on and on

Hey Fish, my 40 year old kid told me a few years ago. "Dad, you know a lot of those things you said are starting to make sense now." Go figure. 

[wallfish 16,994]

8 minutes ago, JoeM said:

Hey Fish, my 40 year old kid told me a few years ago. "Dad, you know a lot of those things you said are starting to make sense now." Go figure. 

Mark Twain

When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.

But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.

[WHX?? 48,814]

1 hour ago, JoeM said:

Have you noticed any changes in yourself?

When dad passed and I had to clean out his garage/shop. Lot of thoughts on why he was keeping bent nails and screws with stripped heads. Finally figured out his dad went through the great depression where new nails cost money they didn't have. Can only guess that's why. 

Now I look around my shop and have no idea why I keep such stuff. 

[Sailman 1,291]

Toby Keith...RIP old soul.

So much wisdom in this thread.....

My grand dad was a farmer and blacksmith and had baby food jars with the lids tacked to the beams in his blacksmith shop. He would be able to see what was in each one and unscrew the jar as needed. They were filled with odds and ends of screws, used nails, etc.

Still carry on some of his habits today....just no reused nails.

[SPINJIM 1,981]

I'm more modern.   I use peanut jars with lids, because I can see what's inside, and keep the moisture out.  But I have six shelves full of jars, more than my dad ever had.   Have saved myself many trips to the hardware store with those jars.  I had to downsize quite a bit, but my family can deal with the jars when I'm gone.  

[wallfish 16,994]

1 hour ago, ri702bill said:

Others need to appreciate YOUR years of common sense experience when it is offered.

And that's probably why the "Elders" of the tribes were chosen as their leaders over the millenniums.

Although there does come a point when too old is just that, too old, the mind looses it's elasticity and ability of normal reasoning. It wears out just like the other organs do over time.

[ebinmaine 67,408]

Excellent thread. I got nothing specific to add because my experiences have been a mix of all of the above. Fighting my body and it's issues over the last few years has taught me a few different things whether I wanted to learn them or not.

[Handy Don 12,210]

I was in grade school when my Dad and a carpenter he hired built our new home. As a helper, one job I had was to collect bent nails and straighten them for reuse. 8, 10, and 16 lb common. Musta done many hundreds over the year or so of construction. Kept me out of trouble and was productive.

During high school, we moved to a house that needed a garage and now my help was as a framer, rough-in electrician, and roofer. For this job, the bent nails went into the metal recycling bin!

When Dad downsized his shop, he had a couple hundred jars with various hardware. My brothers and a couple of grandchildren and I divvied up most of them. I already had twenty or thirty jars from my Dad’s dad plus many of my own. Took me a month or so of spare moments to filter the good from the useless and consolidate. 

As noted above, “the jars” have helped me resurrect many a broken object and saved me $$ and trips to the store.

[ML3 1,197]

As I've crested 50yrs old a few years ago I'm slowly becoming the grumpy old man. Lol. I just wanna be left alone to play out in my garage. Fortunately my girlfriend who's 39 has some sort of social anxiety or something I guess. She doesn't like big crowds of people. Small social events with people she's comfortable with is fine. She does her thing in her she shed & I'll be out in garage. We enjoy spend time together.  I can drag her to any car show, tractor show, etc. Sometimes she asks if theres a show! We barely watch tv- especially the news, makes me angry.  Both us stay off social media. Except me on this forum. 

 

My kids are 17 & 20. My daughter graduates this year. She intends to follow a career in real estate as my mom did very successfully for 45yrs. She's smart, takes no crap (cause I raised her that way) & has social skills.

 

My son tried college & hated it. I was ok with that. He spent a year doing carpet/flooring work. After the year he determined that was not how he wanted to make a living. Sometimes gotta let kids figure things out. I told him if he wasn't interested in going back to school or a trade to seek out a civic job- state, county, city, govt, etc. Unknown to me he actually listened. In January he started a job w/county as a waste water treatment operator. Great pay, benefits, retirement (30&out!) His supervisor told him that he wishes he was my son's age when he got hired. Remind him daily how lucky he is to landed that job. 

 

Proud of both my kids. I pretty much raised them while my ex drank & partied etc. I admit I was tough on them & I still am. My son already thanks me & says he doesn't know how I managed it for all those years. 

[Ed Kennell 38,128]

     When I'm 80  90.    Don't let the Old Man In.

[ri702bill 8,314]

30 minutes ago, ML3 said:

I admit I was tough on them

And that is a good thing - you instill your family values on your children as they grow up, then step back to let them develope into the young adults they become. Each kid turns out differently.

My point is you show them what is important, let them run their own game, and be there for them if their choices prove to be the wrong ones. Some kids get it, some take longer, and some don't get it at all.

[Daddy Don 905]

8 hours ago, JoeM said:

Over in the "Pete found his shop floor thread", Ed talks about his school days oiling the floors and staying warm with the coal burner. Made me think a bit of things when I was a kid and my aging.

When I got into my 50's, the way I thought started to change. 

When I got into my 60's, the way I thought started to resemble the old man. Or and older man. 

 

"The Look"

A couple weeks ago one of the grand-kids was here and kind of giving the wife a hard time in the kitchen. I was in the office adjoining the dinning room and leaned over in the doorway and gave the kid "the look".

Oh my, I remember that look from when i was a kid. It was my fathers silent WTF. The old man would twist his neck and look up but his eyes never left you, like a gangster. (You did not want a second one) 

 

"My Collection"

The old man had a deal where he was the vast collector of used nails. Had coffee cans filled with rusty, but straightened, salvaged nails. Not just a few maybe a dozen. My son was 4 at the time and I was at my Dad's garage working on my truck. Well the boy was being a PIA so I got a hammer, 6x6 and a can of nails and left him go to town. That wood looked like a porcupine. I remember the old man coming into view, it looked like a skit from Fred Sanford, I thought we were going to use a defibrillator on him. His cherished nails drove into that block of wood.

I don't have a collection of used nails, but I got nuts and bolts. Cans by size, lined up like soldiers on the back of the bench. 

 

Have you noticed any changes in yourself?

Wait until you hit 75 years I will be 76 in June. You want have to worry about that anymore. You just set down and close your eyes and when you wake up you didn`t even know that you went to sleep and when you wake up you wonder where you have been. 

[kpinnc 11,999]

6 hours ago, ebinmaine said:

I got nothing specific to add because my experiences have been a mix of all of the above. Fighting my body and it's issues over the last few years has taught me a few different things whether I wanted to learn them or not.

 

I wanted to post something short and to the point, but Eb beat me to it. Have to say this perfectly says what I wanted to post. 

 

I was immortal for 40 years. Then my body taught me different. I was convinced even then that I would bounce back 100 percent. Then I settled for 70 percent. Now I want to cling to 60 percent.... 

[ebinmaine 67,408]

1 minute ago, kpinnc said:

 

I wanted to post something short and to the point, but Eb beat me to it. Have to say this perfectly says what I wanted to post. 

 

I was immortal for 40 years. Then my body taught me different. I was convinced even then that I would bounce back 100 percent. Then I settled for 70 percent. Now I want to cling to 60 percent.... 

 

 

 

60??!!??

 

Hell I'd settle for 6 some days.  

[PWL216 889]

I’m 65 and mostly feel great. Three back operations, and feet that need special inserts in the shoes. Still, not bad. I have some minor limitations that cause me to be more creative in how I go about things. As an example, I was very happy to sell my 2-stage snowblower to @ebinmaine. Damn near killed myself moving that thing around.

 

Like @Ed Kennell, I started school at a small schoolhouse - 3 rooms - first, second and third grade. There was no nurses station, just a cot in the hallway for if you had a headache or stomachache kind of thing. You did not want to be laying on that cot when the recess bell went off, it was a flurry of kicks, punches and insults as the kids went by! It was great! Every first day of school my mother put a letter in an envelope to give my teacher. It was a note saying that if I misbehaved they could  punish me. 
 

As I get older, I find I have less patience but more gratitude. I’ve seen so many family, friends and acquaintances leave the party through death or dementia. I’m much more afraid of the latter. My grandchildren are a great joy and keep me on my toes! My work is still mentally challenging, so that helps. And working on my tractors keeps my mind engaged. I like to be learning something new everyday and I’m convinced having a sense of curiosity, and humor, keeps you young and interesting to others.

 

I’m inspired by people on this site, who are older than me and still sharp as a tack. I’m often in awe of the clarity and precision of comments/suggestions/how-to’s written by@Ed Kennell, who I don’t personally know and think, man, maybe 80 ain’t that scary!

 

Paul

Edited February 7 by PWL216

[Sparky-(Admin) 21,314]

  Unlike the rest of you I have become sweeter and kinder as I approach 60. 
  If you’ve met me and you disagree … well prepare to have your dang Red Square account stomped on and deleted! RS is no place for anyone that disagrees with me !

 

  Just messing! I’m feeling the effects of age, especially when I’m driving and some whippersnapper feels the need to tailgate or pass me at MACH-1.